privacy

[mizfit]

ok well im in a relationship ive ben in this one for 8 months im in love and what not its just one thing..... on more than one occasion she has read my dairy. one time she locked me out of my room and read it. another 2 times she waits until i fall asleep to read it. and the most recnet one was when we got into a fight i left my house to walk around the block so that way i wouldnt yell at her (lately weve been fighting alot) and the moment i was gone the bitch reads my dairy. but heres the thing the next day she tells me that she did it. so i said OK what all did you read? she claims that she just read the most recent entry. but today she brings up shit that i wrote like 2 weeks ago to spite me..... what i dont understand is why would she read it to begin with? ? also if your going to read it dont be a dumb cunt and tell me about it i mean damn she knows its gonna start a fight.... shes up my ass 24/7 my dairy is the only privacy i have and now im not even safe there.... i love her but hate this relationship the BEST thing about our relationship is the sex i mean its AMAZING other than that its a lot of a paranoid drama and it aint working........ damn that felt good i wish i had a dairy to write in thats for my eyes only...............

[bee_bop]

Hey Mizfit, nice to meet you - I am obviously new around here. I am sorry your girlfriend has read your private diary and used it against you. That really is an invasion of privacy that shouldn't be allowed to happen. I mean, if she wants to ask you how you are or how you have been, she can ask and you have the right to tell. But reading through private diary entries really is not fair. I know I don't know you or her, and your relationship dynamics, but that's overstepping boundaries in my opinion. I am very close to my partner, but i would expect him to ask me how I am rather than go snooping ESPECIALLY TO USE PRIVATE STUFF AGAINST ME!

[bee_bop]

You need to set some boundaries in this relationship if it is making you feel like you don't have any space. I think it is important and healthy to have time and space to yourself for your mental well-being (which is the function your diary obviously serves). If your girlfriend keeps taking your diary, I suggest you hide it somewhere! Or by a box with a lock (not joking!)

[Dreamline]

Yeah that's really not cool of her...sounds controlling and invasive.  The part where you said she LOCKED you out of YOUR room...oh fuck no, this needs to be addressed.  Have you confronted her when you were not angry?  She isn't showing you much respect at all.

[Phyllis]

yeah, sounds a little controlling to me. And invading your privacy like that, is just giving you just cause to not trust her.

[chasemanzmum]

It would be one thing if she used it to help you. But to keep rehashing history is just plain cruel.

[mizfit]

ive confronted her and she just gets really sad and what not... i bet its just an act.... im moving to anouther town this week anyways (shes a senior) so you know ill either have to look past this shit or just move on...... idk what to do i love her but like i said i hate the relashonsip. i need a diary jounral whatever you wanna call it becasue writtng really helps me idk.... like ive cheated on her before and she stayed with me (spare your insults i felt bad enough when i did it) so thats y she always reads it to see if i did it again....

[Dreamline]

Now that explains it a little better...she is so insecure in the relationship that she is being controlling and invasive.  Its not your fault she is reacting that way though.  Could you both go to counseling together and work it out?

[Stormienite]

Do you realize you first said you were in love and then proceeded to tell us how she's stealing personal items, reading them, then bringing them up as a weapon?  Sure you can lock your diary up.  But I'd kick her to the curb.  I'm sure you can fine more sex. 

[chasemanzmum]

Well GL and keep us posted

[cadno]

I have to agree it is an invasion of privacy, for the flip side I keep a mood diary and a few other diaries and my wife has never read them unless I have asked her to read a certain section.  Might be worth considering getting a lockable one, but that doesn't cure the problems between you.  I've been through a lot with my wife, from cheating to nearly killing each other at the level we got to.  There comes a point where you simply have to sit down and literally wipe the slate clean and start a fresh relationship.  I agree with others here about joint sessions of some sort, but its a long shot, what I would say is go to my previous point and assess what you BOTH need.

I won't say I'm entirely pleased with her actions towards you, but with all things there is a root to a problem and understanding that could save your relationship or at least bring about some sort of change.  Then again I could be talking nonsense!

Rich

[bee_bop]

How are you getting on Mizfit?