My girlfriend's first really bad episode with me

[the don]

I've been dating this girl for two months. I met her through a mutual friend that I met in college, he was one of her ex-boyfriends, but they stayed on good terms. She lives 4 hours away from me, but we're both going to school in Pittsburgh, so we'll be together when the fall semester starts. Anyways in spite of the distance, the relationship is moving extremely fast, we already made serious plans involving our future together.
Anyways 3 weeks into our relationship, she told me that she has bipolar II, and at that time, I immediately decided that I wanted to help her get this under control, and that I'd listen and talk her down from any bad episodes.
We were away from eachother when she recently had a very bad depressive episode over the last 2 weeks, but she thinks it's finally over, because the biggest issue that was bothering her is out now.
2 weeks ago, she suddenly and for seemingly no reason, she got extremely depressed. at the biginning of this phase, she became extremely upset and very argumentative (I suspected that this started as a mixed episode, but I didn't catch on until later) we had a few bad fights and she threatened to leave me. around the 4Th of July was when she got really bad. On the second, she became very suicidal, and I talked her through it, On the third, the suicidal thoughts started, but I was able to catch it early enough, and I helped prevent the thoughts from taking hold. On the fourth, she almost intentionally crashed her car going 80 on her way home from work. I talked her through her drive home, and I got her to go to sleep. the next day, I prevented another episode from getting out of hand. On Wednesday, she had a bad night, She was watching a movie with the guy that I met her through, He started touching her in a serious sexual way and he tried to take advantage of her state of mind, and tried to get her to cheat on me, that really set off her depression, because of what I found out about today.

Tonight, she had another severe episode, and I found out exactly what brought on this depressive period.
She told me that in the days leading up to this depressive phase, she was feeling really manic, and I didn't notice this. At the height of this manic phase, she was manipulated into having sex with the guy that I met her through, since he was her ex, he knew exactly how to take advantage of her in this state. He was also one of my best friends before this.
After that happened, she was so overcome with guilt, that she Had a severe depressive phase, and we spent 5 nights dealing with her suicidal thoughts.
I knew that she wasn't in her right state of mind when this happened, and I saw how bad this made her feel, so I was able to forgive her for this, but I guess I need advice on how to prevent this kind of thing from happening again.
I also need to know what to look for in a manic phase. I'm being as supportive, forgiving and understanding as I can.  This is really hard, but I feel like she's more than worth it to me.

[Phyllis]

wow, sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Is she seeking therapy or taking meds? Being 4 hours away you certainly need to have some great communication skills, which it appears you do. It is difficult to see the signs when you are not right there in front of it. Many times, those of us with the BP don't realize what phase we are in until it's too late.

Some signs of mania includes but is not limited to:
hyper-sexuality
rapid speech
going anywhere from 24 hours and longer with no sleep or limited sleep (1 to 2 hours for example)
grandiose thinking

those are just a few. somewhere around here I think we have a list of signs of mania. I'll have to dig around and see if I can find it.

I do recommend though, that she seek therapy if she can (If she is not currently in therapy) and I would recommend some drug therapy at least until she evens out (Which can take awhile).

[Ashes]

Hi
I dont think I can give you any advice because this is a very difficult illness and it sounds like you are just starting to experience what it can be like.  You cant control her and she has to want to get help and remain on medication.  If you two are 4 hours away it may be very difficult for you to notice an episode coming on.  The most you may be able to experience is a change in your conversations.   If she is feeling manic she may talk faster and more, it may be hard for you to get words in.  She may be just full of new info and laughing a bit more.  Though if she is down the conversation for her may be strained so she may not mention feeling down but you may notice her saying she is tired more often.  Sorry and I'm glad to hear she has you just make sure you look out for yourself also.  A good starting point is hear finding a place to talk about what is going on and maybe get advice. 

[SmilingElephant]

All i want to say is that YOU ARE AN AMAZING BOYFRIEND!!!

I have an amazing boyfriend....he always keeps me connected to the ground.....i try really hard not to overwhelm him with my illness...but being that i'm newly diagnosed and trying to figure out whats good and whats not....the do's and dont's i try to warn or hint to him and if its really an issue i just flat out let him know how i'm feeling.

Maybe you can work it out with your gf that she warn you of how she's feeling or how she THINKS she's feeling. That way you can kinda help her through her episodes and when you think she might do something extreme work out something where you're constantly communicating with her.....and keep being a great guy....bc most of the time many of us Bipolars feel like all the time...that way we don't screw up ANYTHING....we just need all the help we can get.

[the don]

thanks everyone for the support and praise. I just can't believe how unsympathetic all of her previous boyfriends were to her illness. I feel like if you really love someone, you should be there to support them especially durring the times they need you the most. If you really love someone, you should want to be there for them through thick and thin. It seems like when someone's going through an episode that the rational part of their brain shuts off. It seems like one of the best things I can do for her when she gets like that is to just explain how irrational her depressed or manic thoughts really are. thankfully she hasn't had any bad episodes since then, but that really did help her through that one.