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Author Topic: GUlLTY !!  (Read 286 times)
dionomo
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« on: June 27, 2010, 03:37:51 PM »

anyone ever feel guilty about being yourself but its like I should have said this or could have done something more to make someones day a bit brighter, what I do feels it is never good enough but I always seem to put a lot into anything I do so then that can make me feel guilty because I am so focused on one thing and want to be able to do multiple things I feel bad about so many things sometimes and it all seems like little shit though : dirt on the floor or I leave a cup out or even like having a some what dirty room .......
my mom calls me a busy beaver I think I am startin to get to be a bit OCD about things sometimes
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Ashes
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« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2010, 04:54:42 PM »

I feel like that a lot.  I always feel like I should do more.  There are so many things I see that I should do or things I felt I should say.  Its very tough feeling this way I wonder if part of it is the depression?
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Vincent Van Gogh
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« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2010, 11:04:11 PM »

Absolutely feel that way! I usually get a lot of anxiety at night because my brain starts racing and coming up with all kinds of things I should have or could have done better. I feel like if I am not "saving the world" then I'm not doing enough. I've actually thought about that alot. I think sometimes that if I died today my life would have been pretty meaningless. Even though I know logically that isn't true.
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Phyllis
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« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2010, 06:45:20 AM »

I feel that way a lot. And Ashes, yes it can be a product of the depression.
I just do what I can when I can. I can't push myself because then I end up pushing myself too hard and falling into a depression or hyped up into mania. The feeling of guilt never goes away for me. I have just learned to deal with that feeling. I know it's going to be there, and eventually, one day, I will kick that thought out of my head.
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Paz
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« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2010, 09:02:04 PM »

 Sometimes the guilty feeling can be all consuming and it feels like it will never go away...when you are BP there are so many things to feel guilty about. Breaking that destructive way of thinking is a really hard thing to do. I don't even know if it's possible to not ever feel guilty. 
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dionomo
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« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2010, 12:27:29 PM »

well guess im not alone...... I have been a bit panicky lately feel like running away from my home town because I feel like there is always some kind of conspiracy against me and my every moment is on trial and I will be condemned to die or something I am nuts and pills only help to keep my mind off it just like using any other drug I think to get better I am going to have to just let go off my thoughts and try not worry about every little detail of a day and I think someone said "listen to the little voice and not the loud voice that never shuts up" that seems to make sense but is harder than it sounds .........
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roll the window down this cool night air is curious
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who cares who sees anything
im your passenger!
Ashes
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« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2010, 01:20:52 PM »

I lost many jobs because I thought everything that happened was a conspiracy.  I also moved about 8 hours away then back.  Its all so insane to me now but my life was completely controlled by my delusions.  My meds do seem to be helping me in that part of my life maybe your doc can help.     
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How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?
Vincent Van Gogh
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« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2010, 02:00:20 PM »

I felt guilty about alot of stuff. Not really a way for me to pin point a specific thing.
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