Short Jokes

[Joe Buck]

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!



Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Q. Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A. Because their plugged into a genius!

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.

Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass

Q. Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !

On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip into a nice Jersey

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
2 ft. of my cock in your ass

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger

Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something.

Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do you do in case of fallout?
A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes!

Q. Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for "lesbian".
A. It has been changed to "vagitarian".

Q. What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A. Two gays with haemorrhoids

Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
A. He found a hare up his ass.

Q. How can you tell if a Western is homosexual?
A. All the good guys are hung.

Q. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
A. Male fraud

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath

Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "Wow it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

Know why a room full of married people looks so empty?
There's not a Single person in it...

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic schizophrenic?
He was in two minds as to whether there's a dog!

Where does the one legged waitress work?
The Ihop

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"

A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"
The mushroom says "Why not I'm a Fungi!"

[Ramji]

Here's the way I heard it ...

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
He would stay wake all night wondering if there's a dog!

[Luigi]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?








A carrot    (sorry, it's a bad one, I know !)