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[fenderbender]

Hello, I have a great wife along with two kids.  After going through about 30 jobs in two years and some major episodes, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, Ultra Rapid Cycling.  I have been in the hospital twice for suicide related issues, and I'm on SSDI. I struggle with not working, but it's not an option.  My Psychiatrist has done well with my meds, but I'm not happy with his theories on what I'm suppose to be after meds.  I still cycle, but the frequency and intensity has reduced.  My days are difficult,  I live with malaise and I can't seem to get anything of significance done.  My Psychiatrist says I DON'T cycle while I'm on my meds, depression is feeling SORRY for myself, and I'm LAZY because I can't motivate myself to move forward in my life.  When I talk to him, he triggers me into a deep depression.  I have just started going to group, it is promising.  I also see a counselor, not very promising.  I feel so isolated, and I don't particular like what I have become.  I need to know if what my Psychiatrist believes about me is correct, or is he just a jerk that likes to kick kitties. By the way, my counselor shakes his head when I tell him about what my Psychiatrist has said.   

[nordicnicki]

hi there fender bender and welcome.....
sounds like your psychiatrist is an ass......you can still cycle even when on meds but not as extreme as you would without them......if that wasnt true then god knows whats going on with me and you by the sounds of it.
i fully understand the lack of motivation and not being able to achieve anything as io am like that and no matter how hard i try to push myself it just dont happen.....so your not lazy!
as for depression being feeling sorry for yourself,what bull!sufferes of bipolar just slip into depression and especially being a rapid cycler it can come and go at the drop of a hat sometimes(at least it does with me)
i hope that you manage to find someone who actually sounds as if they understand the illness and what it does to us.....
i would say more but sadly am late for work now....i spend far too much time on here...hehe
you take care and keep us posted about how you are getting on and any other thoughts that you have

[Ramji]

You need a new doc.  Mine does both therapy and meds .... it makes sense.  It hard to find the ones that do.

[Phyllis]

I agree - you need to find a new psych. sounds like your's likes to kick kitties.
Like nickie said, you can still cycle while on meds, and your not lazy.
Finding a good doc is difficult and many of us go through many doc's before finding the right one. I hope you can find one who is a little more professional and empathetic.

[cadno]

Gods you need a new psych!!!

I've had some pretty bad ones in the past but that wasn't because they berated me, it was because they simply couldn't get their head around my problems (I'm complicated apparently lol).  You really should ask for a second opinion as to me it sounds like your psych is trying the old 'forcing' method when obviously that isn't helping you.

Btw, Welcome

Cadno

[Joe Buck]

Did your nincompoop of a p/doc, get his PhD sheepskin...out of a cracker jack's box? His methods are callous & destructive. A consumer & the p/doc should build a nurturing relationship...not a toxic relationship. What a dipshit...he is laying this guilt trip on you...thinking his crude rubbish technique, will motivate you to stabability. HE IS BREAKING THE NUMBER 1 CONCEPT FOR SUCCSESFUL TREATMENT & A CLEAR MESSAGE TO SOCIETY, "BPD IS A ILLNESS", NOT A BEHAVIORAL FLAW, NOT LAZYNESS. He is trashing both the Hippocratic oath & the golden rules. Marked by changes in mood, depression and bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) are both highly treatable, medical illnesses.It is up to you to decide...I am suggesting, if you can swing it, shop for another p/doc. Seems you are doing well with your councillor. If you get a new p/doc...ask if your counsellor & new p/doc will exchange notes.(very important) As Ramji stated, it is difficult to find a p/doc that does both. (this is old school & because of specialization) You are the king...you have the right to choose.  To be treated fairly & with respect. A PhD does not give P/docs the right to be arrogant assholes. If you choose to walk, it is advisable, to not bad mouth the knucklehead p/doc. Word spreads in mental health community & this can hamper you. Save your venting for here (bpbabble)or a trusted friend. It is a jungle...it's dammed if you do...dammed if you don't. But all is possible. Wish you the best & call on me anytime, for whatever. Joe Buck...Bob   

[fenderbender]

Thank you so much for replying to my post, you guys are awesome!  I have read every reply, your valuable advice is so much appreciated.  I'm sure that each of you know how isolating bp can be, it's nice to know that I have a place to go that I can help and be helped.  Your replies have validated what I couldn't get my mind around, now I have the confidence to move forward.  There are some obstacles in dumping my Psychiatrist, the main one being the lack of Psychiatrists is my area.  I will talk to some of those in my group to see if they could recommend someone.

Once again, thank you. 























 

[k]

ditto ditto ditto to what everyone said about your pdoc.  please please don't believe him.  i think he's hurting more than helping.  there are good ones out there and i hope you are in a position to find another one.  also, i take great confort and help from my therapist.  so if you don't have a good relationship you should shop around there as well.   

one of my biggest problems right now is the feeling of complete and utter isolation so i know what your saying.  it's awful and i hope that you can find some comfort here.   sometimes we come and go a lot because of our situations and i keep hoping i will do a better job posting each day but not having a lot of luck there.  but please know that you are not alone!
k

[Cathy]

I can only agree with the others, it is important you find a new pdoc, though I understand that will be difficult. Best of luck.

[DJ]

Welcome, Fenderbender.

My wife, Paz, was also diagnosed as a BP1 Ultradian rapid cycler.  She could go up and down and back twice in a day. 

We have a great group of people here.  Please don't be shy to post what is on your mind.

DJ.

[grey ghost]

okay man.  your depression in bipolar one is likely dystimia.  chronic depression.  you might want to talk to your doc about changing up your meds.  your laziness is also a sign of depression.  but believe it or not, if you can will yourself to get up and exercise just for a little while each day, that helps.  not only with your energy levels but lessens your depression.  and your shrink saying those things makes him a dick.  good luck pal and i hope this helps you.

[chasemanzmum]

welcome to our creative venue..I'm chasemanzmum