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Ohhhhhhhh man the harder I work the more I sweat. And being pregnant don't help none. My dr at ISMHC is talking about putting me back and the same meds I was on before. The lowest amounts possible that is though. That is after I have the baby. I got a couple more months till I can get back on them anyhow. I am just worried my son (2 year old) or daughter (31 weeks pregnant with her) might be the same way I was. But I am back for a while anyhow.
OK there might be a post like this idk i haven't checked. but have any of you really wondered why we live to die?? i mean seriously were born into existence grow older then die, i mean what is the purpose in this?? it totally fucks with your head if you contemplate issues like: what is existence? is there an after life? are we a product of evolution? or was the universe and everything in it created by a supream being? could all of this happen by accident and life really has no meaning? idk about any of you but these things cross my mind alot of the time. id like to believe in God ( the one from the bible not the thousands of others that have been lost in time) but there is way to many holes in the story of the bible. i don't mean to attack anyones religion cuz that's kinda fucked up if that was my intention. its just for me Christianity doesn't work..... idk what are yalls thoughts on this?
well here it is i went to see my pdoc yesterday and came out of there with a big smile on my face,just like the cheshire cat from alice in wonderland. i saw my old doctor who is a fantastic man and it was conformed for me that the other doc i was seeing has been sacked and will no longer be working in that particular field anymore(at least then he wont be perving over anymore patience in the future,so that is good news) we had a good chat about what i have been up to and how i have been feeling.apart from the spending sprees and sleep problems he was delighted with my progress and reckons i should have been given lithium to start with instead of going through all the crap i did go through. so he's the bit that made me smile so big.......he decided that i can be discharged from the psychiatric unit and will no longer have to have regular sessions with him or any other pdoc,no more visits from my nurse and gave me a number to call if i ever do have a relapse. it is a little scary to think that i am on my own now....but right now i feel i can cope with it and was delighted with the decision. this doesnt mean that i am cured or anything so silly but it just means for the first time for as long as i can rermember i am actually in a stable frame of mind thinking and seeing things clearly. i just have to now tryingt and sort out my spending sprees which i am getting help with....if i have now money then i cant spend,thats my theroy anyway.and as for the slepping im sure if i try hard enough i can control that too. thank you all for listening to all my rubbish in the past and answering my posts,i shant be leaving the site just maybe not posting as much as usual
whats up guys and girls? i haven't posted anything in a WHILE! well hows everyone doing ?? good i hope cuz Ive been doing great i haven't been having any major swings or suicidal thoughts and Ive quit cutting myself. also Ive quit drinking and popping pills to get high. the only thing Ive been trying so hard to quit is . I'm trying to clean up for good cuz Ive realized that we are all going to die some day so why speed up the process? if anyone has tips on quitting weed please feel free to share them cuz i really want to quit.
I have phase II bipolar and cannot afford the necessary drugs. I'm dealing with this alone, which as you may know is tough. Are there any tips you can give in management of my disorder?
Expert answer
Dear Cassandra,
You are in a rough spot, and I can only hope that changes in our health care will make problems like yours a thing of the past within a couple of years. In the meantime, we need to deal with actualities, so let's talk about how to improve your situation.
First, for readers who might not be familiar with bipolar II disorder, it is a very painful condition characterized by repeated depressions and episodes called hypomanias, which are characterized by increased energy and either an emotional high or irritability, or both. Although patients often enjoy the brief hypomanias, they come at a terrible price, because they very powerfully trigger new depressive episodes.
Bipolar disorder and "regular old depression" share many things in common, including the fact that they are strongly affected by environmental conditions. However, whereas regular depression is mostly caused by stress or physical illness, patients with bipolar disorder are also extremely sensitive to the physical stresses that come from the flow of time itself. It is ironic that an illness characterized by constant change -- moods up, moods down, moods up, moods down -- is itself so sensitive to all types of change. So in bipolar patients, the change from day to night and night to day, the swing of the seasons, a simple airline flight to a new time zone can all set off episodes of either depression or mania.
I am telling you all this to make a simple and important point: Bipolar disorder is more "biological" than regular depression -- you can see it in the fact that it is so affected by biological stressors such as those I've described. For this reason, it is especially important to get medical treatment for the condition. Without appropriate medications, most people find it very difficult to make appreciable headway against the illness.
So my first piece of advice is to try harder to get help obtaining the medications you need. I don't know where you live, but many counties have mental health services that will provide treatment free of cost, or nearly so. Counties that don't have such services often have contracts with neighboring counties that do. You pay your taxes, so you should make the government work for you on this issue.
Now let me make a series of recommendations for things you can do on your own that are known to help the condition. Many of them are not easy, but as you yourself said, you are struggling with a tough disorder. First, if you are drinking too much alcohol (more than one drink per day) or using drugs, you need to quit. Almost half of everyone with bipolar disorder struggles with drugs or alcohol, so if this is a problem for you, you are not alone. People often do much better if they can just get ahold of their substance abuse.
Second, as you might imagine from what I wrote about biological stressors, it is very important that you maintain a very stable sleep-wake schedule -- there's an entire school of bipolar therapy based on this. Even minor changes in sleep can induce mood episodes. I treated a patient once who went from completely psychotic to working as a university professor because she took her meds and was willing to live a very clean life in terms of her daily rhythms. (You can read about her in the final chapter of a book titled "Detour: My Bipolar Road Trip in 4-D" by Lizzie Simon.)
Third, try to get to an internist or family doctor (if you can't get to a psychiatrist) and have your thyroid checked. Many people with bipolar disorder have too little thyroid hormone, which can make their mood episodes come on more rapidly and more often. If your thyroid is a little low, it's an easy thing to take a daily supplement.
Finally -- and God knows this is easier said than done -- try to reduce the stress in your life. Stress makes everything worse.
Hi-to everyone who shares the disorder and those who just know someone who lives with it. I have been going around this site for days, contemplating everything from what do I share to what the hell am I going to use as my user name. Now I feel comfortale using my real name, but I have always felt since I was diagnosed(may07) that I was on a train.The tracks guide me along a path with stops(hospital stays) along the way. Now as most of you who can relate...its certainly is an express. I also relate bipolar to making visits around the country. I guess an example of what I'm talking about is at times I could go to sleep with my brain going through the hustle of NYC and I could awake in a laid back state like Vermont etc....hell I could useexamples of all the states, but we don't have that kinda time...besides I could go through a mood change and lose my whole train of thought by the time I'm done writing this. Or maybe Ill reread this 20 times and never send it...lol hey it happens.... But I'm glad I found this place and I hope that I can help others as well as be helped by others.
I recently joined Facebook because the volunteer ground I work with wanted us to do so for ease of communication. On there, I reconnected with a nationally known and respected psychiatrist I used to work with. He immediately suggeted that I write a column for "Pychiatric Insights," a publication of the Amercian Psychiatric Association. He set it up with the editor of the column and I wrote my submission. I sent it in today--now all I have to do is wait to see if it is accepted for publication.
I'm imagining deeper relationships with some people than I really have ....
I thought i offended someone ... I apologize and they have no idea what I'm talking about.
I apologize way too much anyway.
My mood is pretty stable ... but my thoughts and actions are really strange sometimes.
I have only a couple of close friends, but sometimes when someone is friendly .... even just making conversation ... I imagine we are closer than we really are ...... anyone else do this?
(NAPSI)-If you or a loved one is living with bipolar disorder, you understand better than anyone how this disease can affect daily life. And you're not alone. A recent survey showed that the biggest concern among people living with bipolar disorder (73%) is that their illness will impact their families, relationships or jobs. The online survey, which was commissioned by the National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare and AstraZeneca, asked 2,000 people living with bipolar disorder, as well as 500 physicians who treat such patients, about their impressions and concerns when it comes to managing the depressive symptoms of this complex illness.
Bipolar disorder affects approximately 8 million American adults and is characterized by very low moods, called bipolar depression, and very high moods, called bipolar mania. Most people with bipolar disorder spend more time in the depressive phase than the manic phase.
In the survey, 90 percent of patients said they have a hard time managing or finishing daily tasks due to their depressive symptoms, such as sadness, feelings of emptiness and/or an inability to concentrate. About 9 in 10 also said they have cancelled social engagements because of bipolar depression.
"It's clear from this survey that many people with bipolar disorder are struggling, and it's taking a serious toll on their day-to-day lives," said Linda Rosenberg, president and CEO of the National Council. "It's important to know that there is help out there. With treatment, talk therapy, and support, bipolar depression can be managed and people can feel better."
One important aspect of managing bipolar depression is having a good doctor-patient relationship. Unfortunately, in the survey, 41 percent of people with bipolar disorder said they wished they could be more open with their physicians about their depressive symptoms. Seventy-two percent of physicians agreed that many of their patients don't know how to accurately describe their bipolar depression symptoms.
Rosenberg recommends the following steps for patients to strengthen communication with their doctors:
• Describe how you're feeling to the best of your ability. You do not have to know the clinical language-just use your own words.
• Jot down any questions and concerns you have before your doctor's appointment so you don't forget them.
• Don't hesitate to share anything and everything with your doctor, even if it feels personal or unimportant. Your doctor is best-equipped to help you when he or she has all the information.
• Work with your doctor to set expectations and goals for your treatment. For many patients, these may be "everyday" goals, like getting back to a regular work schedule or spending more time with family and friends.
arreeegg. we have trees! we have a lot of trees. and we have fire. we have a lot of fires. so we have to keep our trees cut and if you know what a "live oak" tree looks like (that's it's name live oak not as in it is actually a live tree as opposed to a dead tree - i know stupid name. it use to confuse me when i would read that there was "live oak" firewood for sale because why the hell would you want to put burn a live tree in your fireplace?) they are sort of tough to keep balanced out and they usually have a lot of dead branches, especially when you build a house right on the top of them, they find this annoying. after more than 2 years of looking at all the dead branches and thinking i should really do something about it, this year i hired someone to come and cut some of the limbs off - for the trees sake and for fire safety. but, we also like our trees for privacy sake so the tree limb cutting went a lot like this: this one? no that one. this one? no the other. this one? yeah. buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, NO NOT THAT ONE! put it back! put it back right now...... anyway, this guy used a pole saw. for those of you who don't know what a pole saw is, it's a little tiny chain saw on the end of a long or very long pole. his was gas powered and loud. but you know it looked kinda easy. so i thought why don't i get one. but, i don't like gas so i'll get an electric one. and if you're ever shopping for electric saws but what you're thinking of in your mind is that you want an electric saw run by a battery and not by an extension cord you must be very specific when asking the store clerk over the phone when he's 30 miles away. you need to say you want a "rechargeable" pole saw and not an electric one. because they only carry electric pole saws and they don't carry rechargeable ones. seeing that i was a tad bit peeved and being a good sales person that he was he offered me a rechargeable leaf blower. and i said well i guess i could just blow all the leaves off the tree and then it would be so ugly i would have the whole thing cut down and we already have one leaf blower but hey i hear you can't have too many and besides maybe ours is lonely. but in the end i decided against it but that was only after i picked up the leaf blower and looked it over carefully and accidently dropped it on his foot. oops. but, like i said you have to drive 30 miles first to learn all this. the ironic thing is is that i had really meant to buy it on the internet but i was trying to be conscientious and buy it from a store that collects local sales tax in order to help and support the community and then i remembered i was in the wrong county from where i live anyway so i bought it on the internet. and if you buy from lowes on the internet they'll give you free "basic" delivery. which i understand goes something like this; they stand outside the store until they find someone headed this way and they give it to them to drive it towards my house in calif. and then that person stops somewhere say in NY and gives it to someone else who walks it the rest of the way and in 3 months you get your saw - but hey, it was free. imagine how excited i was when it finally arrived! i was even more excited because i could tell it would be really easy to use. i could tell this by the pictures on the box. but i read the instructions anyway because i always read the instructions - whether they're in italian or swedish or chinese i always read them very carefully. anyway, the instructions said i should be very careful because chain saws can "cut" things. it also said to always try to keep the chain saw far away from your husband's neck - if you can, at least try you're best. i'm not quite sure why they had that in there but maybe i missed something in the translation. so i went with the pictures. the box is great. the top picture is of a man using the saw with the "standard" length pole. then right underneath it it has a picture of a woman smiling and demonstrating it is quite easy to use the saw even at the extended length. apparently woman prefer the extended length......but what happened to the man? and why is she smiling? anyway, she made it look really really easy! and so i put the pole saw together (i left my husband in the house just to be safe) and i just jumped right in for that extended length because most of what i have to cut is pretty high. okay its all together now and here i go and lift it up to the sky and then i say OMG this thing is too damn heavy for me to hold up much less guide it in any specific direction. geez! what was that woman on the box? a world champion weight lifter? okay, so i go down to the standard length and off i went with my goggles and bicycle helmet - it said to wear a helmet and thats all i had. it's great to finally have a use for it. now if i can only come up with some use for the bike it goes with... ok, so i'll start small and get use to it. i start it and slowly put it on the branch - and that branch didn't do anything wrong it just happened to be in the wrong tree at the wrong time - and the saw just started dancing and bouncing and jumping all over the place and i was wobbling all over the place and the tree was screaming in pain and by the time i got it away from the tree there was about a thousand little cuts in that poor little branch but it was still attached to the tree. the tree was so horrified that it said if i would just leave it alone it would fall over and die. and it did. no that part is a lie. but only that part. BUT, hey if i wanted to i could now use the leaf blower to blow all those leaves i shook down. but, heck i'm tired now. fortunately the saw came with a handy dandy carrying and storage canvas bag (i don't think i paid extra for it either which is nice because i need to watch my spending right now) but now i have something to put it in to store it in my garage with the rest of the things i can't use are.
Graboid is what Paz and I use to download movies and TV from the internet. The free version, what we have, gives us just enough bandwidth to watch about five hours of TV and Movies a month. You need to download their software, but it's a safe program and really simple.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover" -- MARK TWAIN
. I'm trying to clean up for good cuz Ive realized that we are all going to die some day so why speed up the process? if anyone has tips on quitting weed please feel free to share them cuz i really want to quit.
